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Anyone can be a hero
to children trapped in the child welfare system.
Below is a story submitted by a recent CASA
volunteer.
March 10, 2010
Dear friend of CASA,
I am writing this letter to you not only as a
new CASA volunteer, but also as a former foster
parent of medically fragile children and most
importantly, as an adoptive parent of two
special needs children. I want to tell you of my
personal experience with the foster care system,
the courts, and CASA.
I was first introduced to the foster care system
as a preschool teacher about six years ago when
I had several children in my class that had been
adopted out of foster care. I was so touched by
these amazing kids and their family that my
husband and I soon decided that we would like to
open our home to foster children. We went
through the standard background checks, home
visits and weeks of classes. In August of 2006
we officially became a licensed foster home. We
were excited and anxious to meet our first
foster child.
On October 31, 2006 I received a phone call from
an intake worker in Toms River, NJ describing a
little three year old girl. I was told she was
sweet, adorable, and had been through a
traumatic several days and desperately needed a
temporary home. We said yes, and "J” came to our
home late that night. She was upset,
overwhelmed, dirty, sickly, and had lice. She
had been removed from her home which was a motel
room in Seaside, NJ after a domestic abuse
incident that police were called to. She and her
two younger siblings were all in the same room
with about six other people including her
mother, "C” who was only about 18 or 19 years
old. The children had been exposed to all types
of terrible things including a Megan's Law sex
offender, drugs, alcohol, and they had not been
receiving adequate medical attention. "J”’s
younger brother, "D” was only several months old
and was so ill he was taken to the hospital and
her other sister "DE” had gotten so little age
appropriate attention and stimulation that her
behavior was almost unmanageable for the foster
home she went to. Unfortunately this was not an
uncommon situation for so many kids placed into
foster care in NJ.
After a day or two "J” seemed to settle in and
became affectionate and attached to us quite
quickly, as we did to her. But on the third day
she vomited and continued to get sick almost
every day thereafter. Over the next two weeks we
took her to several doctors desperately trying
to find out what was going on and on November
19, 2006 she was sent to the emergency room at
Childrens’ Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). "J”
was admitted to intensive care and received
emergency neurosurgery to relieve water pressure
on her brain due to a birth defect known as
Dandy Walker Cyst Malformation. The pressure on
her brain had gotten so great that she was
having seizures and could barely walk or do
simple tasks. The CHOP neurosurgeon had stated
that her situation was very serious and she
would have died shortly had she not received the
surgery then. He also stated that this was not
acute and the symptoms must have been building
for a long time. If she had received regular
checkups and medical attention it would have
been caught early, thus not causing as much
damage. Now not only did this poor little girl
have to deal with all the emotional turmoil that
all of our foster children face, but she had
years of physical, occupational, and speech
therapies ahead of her.
This now greatly complicated the situation with
"J”’s parents and long-term planning for her and
her two siblings within DYFS. Her mom, "C” and
dad "P” seemed confused and could not grasp the
medical issues now at hand. They both
disappeared for several months and missed many
visits. The division thought the case would move
toward termination at that point and we couldn’t
imagine her leaving our home. But just when
things seemed to move forward "C” showed back up
and was very interested in reunification. There
were now three children, one on the way, one
birth mom, two birth fathers, biological
grandparents, six foster parents, several case
workers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, and a judge
all involved. At this point the judge appointed
a CASA worker to help and that’s exactly what
she did.
Most people might think that with so many
individuals involved that there wouldn’t be a
need for yet another opinion or person to get
involved, but it’s quite the opposite. While
over the next two plus years "J” and her
siblings spent in the court system we had four
different caseworkers, three different
supervisors, two different DAGs, at least three
or four lawyers on the birth parent’s side, two
DYFS nurses, two different judges and countless
changes in visitation supervisors. Every time
there is a single change with any of these it
sets a case back and drags things out longer for
the children in care, which is never a good
thing. And even though there are so many
professionals on a case, very few know it inside
and out. A caseworker could have 30 kids on
their load, the judge may have hundreds as well
as the DAG. And "J”’s lawyer, the law guardian,
who speaks solely for that child in court also
has countless cases. I truly liked "J”’s lawyer,
but she only met "J” once and that was after my
insistence and after she had already been in my
home 1 ½ years. A law guardian may send an
assistant out to the house to meet with the
child occasionally or check in via a phone call,
but the reality is that’s just not enough when
advocating for a child, their future, and their
well being. So often a foster child is just a
file on a desk that gets looked at briefly just
prior to a court hearing that may only be once
every three months or so. I was fortunate to
have a flexible enough schedule to go to all the
court hearings involving "J” and was shocked at
how often information passed from myself to the
law guardian or from the caseworker to the DAG
got misrepresented to the judge. Unlike most
foster parents I was able to stand up and give
the judge the most current and correct version
for him to base his decisions on.
This is why CASA is so important. With even the
best intentioned and well prepared lawyers and
caseworkers the system is overloaded and so much
gets lost in translation. A CASA volunteer works
with one family gets all the information and
keeps it straight. "J”’s CASA and CASA
supervisors were always on top of things, called
and saw "J” and me often. The CASA advocated
solely for her and her siblings and spoke about
their best interest always at court. Our CASA
regularly advocated for the siblings to see each
other at visits, she advocated for bonding
evaluations, and rightfully questioned requests
for unsupervised visits when the final goal was
termination. She also regularly brought to light
the percentage of life these kids had lived in
foster care, a point which seemed to be so
important, but forgotten.
In the end, "J”’s case went to mediation and her
birth mother selflessly and thoughtfully
surrendered her parental rights of "J” to my
husband and me. We were so excited on May, 29
2009 when we adopted her, but she was even more
excited to have a forever family. I know that
CASA was an integral part of the successful
outcome for "J” and her siblings. Her sister "DE”also
was adopted after parental surrender and her
brother "D” reunited with mom. I know that CASA
also helped mom through that process of
reunification with him.
In December of 2006 we were so blessed to
receive another beautiful little girl, "L” into
our home. We picked her up from the hospital at
a week old and going through drug withdrawal.
One year later she was adopted. Now that we had
two special needs children and a biological
daughter age 14, we felt it was time to close
our home officially. But I could never close my
heart to foster children in need of real
advocacy. I spent time considering how best to
serve these kids and after so many conversations
with other foster moms and dads telling sad
stories of child after child getting lost in
this over burdened system I knew that CASA was
right for me.
There are thousands of children in the foster
care system in NJ, each with a complicated and
difficult case. There are never easy answers or
routes for DYFS and the court system to take,
however if CASA can help light and guide a way
toward success for even just a few of the
children the rewards will be countless.
I often think of "J”’s mom who also was in
foster care at one point and lived in an abusive
home, was arrested, had four children by the age
of 20, was homeless, and never graduated from
high school. What would have happened if she had
an advocate? Or of "DE”’s birth father who also
was in foster care, was bumped from home to home
to home, saw his mother slowly die, has been in
and out of jail and on and off of drugs. What if
he had a CASA? But my heart really saddens for
"L”’s birth mother who I recently got meet when
I visited her in jail.
She was born to an alcoholic, lived in foster
care, became a drug addict, a prostitute,
homeless, and has had ten kids all born
addicted. I spoke with her at length, she was
kind and sweet, but so sadly a lost soul who
never got the opportunities or love all children
deserve. What if she had a real advocate, a
voice, a CASA? Who would she have become? Where
would she be in her life? Probably not where she
is now. Every child deserves someone to speak
for them and their best interest, especially
foster children who so often get forgotten and
lost in our society.
Please help kids like "J” by continuing
to support CASA. |
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